Friday, October 19, 2007

I'm Not A Parent But I Have Advice

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PUT THE CHILDREN DOWN !! Brad and Angelina are going to teach these kids that being carried through life is the way to go. And while I'm sure Britney Spears would admit ... getting her car washed ... gas pumped and tires checked by someone other than her is the way to go ... at least she's using her own two feet to walk in and out of stores, starbucks and sushi joints.

According to psychotherapist/social worker Puja Hall , Jolie and Pitt are not creating a stable environment outside the family unit.

Maddox is an adopted child, so he already has a sense of abandonment…Kids that constantly move are like army brats, in that very often they don't want to open up to people. They feel loss, and there is a problem with attachment."

Uh. Pretty sure Maddox Jolie-Pitt is over his abandonment issues. Didn't Angelina scoop him up when he was a fucking infant? I'm sure his ice cream trips and room of toys are depressing him oh so much. And the fact that Pax, Shiloh and my girl Zahara are constantly being carried around leads me to believe they're really smiling on the inside.

These kids are exploring the world as infants. And although they might not remember right now ... I'll be able to sit them down over coffee one day and show them all the pictures. Do u remember playing in the park Zahara? What about you Maddox? Remember when Papa Pitt took u to school. No? Hmm. Whatever. Let's fly somewhere.

I'm totally digging how everyone has an opinion about raising children when everyone is doing a shitty job. Speaking of job ... I've got a great example. I work in a business where I thought everyone was older than 7. But I was lied to. Because bastards walk in and steal people's shit because they have amazing home training. Stop worrying about other kids and teach yours some god damn manners.


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