and this is britney spears cleaning and stimulating a fantasy

ahoy ! there she is. i thought i was going on day 2 without any britney. and well, that would've given even cause for a relapse. ask you can see in the picture above she's cleaning. she's squatting to reveal her tramp stamp in her sneakers with a bottle of windex. and the picture to the left is her after she washed down those dirty little windows.

i hear ya brit. i can't throw my plate in the trash without needing a bong rip and a tequila shot. shit.

and onto the greatest news i've heard in 15 minutes.

my sources are stimulating my vagina by telling me that britney spears has a girl crush on kim kardassian.

...Britney, 25, revealed: "I really love Kim's butt, skin and hair. Kim is a real woman. A real horny beast..." According to a US magazine, the singer made her kinky confession as she took turns with friends to name the celebs they would most like to sleep with." A close pal told the mag: "She was so graphic. It's funny to hear America's pop darling get so dirty."

HOLD ON ! you're telling me britney spears said "a real horny beast" and got "so graphic with detail" that it was funny to hear? now wait. do u mean funny like it made you close your legs and blush or funny like uncomfortable? as in your jaw dropped and you looked for the nearest exit to disappear through? if it's option b ... britney spears is the greatest human being roaming the earth.

yeah. re read it. that's what i said. roaming ... the earth.