Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Uhoh. Uhoh.

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THIS IS PISSING ME OFF !! Why are we getting everything. Where is the PATIENCE !!!! I don't want to know the LYRICS of her songs yet. I mean ... I do I do I do but I don't want YOU to hear them. Ugh !! See. This is why no one is excited for shit anymore. Because of the motherfucking internet. And I'm not blasting it because i'm nosey as fuck and just as obsessed with it as u are ... but c'mon. There is no mystery in ANYTHING anymore.

We now have footage of movies being made. Because everyone is a photog and apparently stalking isn't illegal in Los Angeles. Jeezes. But now that I'm done complaining. Here is what Entertainment Weekly had to say about her new album.

[Uh ... I know u get bored easily so I've gone ahead and put the important parts in bold.]

Accuse Britney Spears of many things — but don’t count a lack of self-awareness among them. Entertainment Weekly was given official access to four unmastered tracks from the star’s way-under-wraps upcoming album (label insiders say that all song leaks on websites such as are not only unsanctioned, but often incomplete) — and the first one’s a doozy. Produced by Bloodshy & Avant, the Swedish team behind her 2004 smash ‘’Toxic,'’ ‘’Piece of Me'’ kicks off with her standard breathy-sexy growl over a thumping hook: ‘’I'm Mrs. American dream/ Since I was 17.'’ Then things get darker: ‘’I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous/I’m Mrs. ‘Oh my God, that Britney’s shameless’/ I’m Mrs. ‘Extra, extra, this just in’ / I’m Mrs. ‘She’s too fat, now she’s too thin.”’ At other points in the song, she refers to herself as ‘’bad media karma'’ and insists, ‘’Another day, another drama/ I can’t see the harm in working hard and being a mama.'’ According to her reps, the song may very well be her second single after the already charting ‘’Gimme More.'’

The spare, glitchy ‘’Radar'’ is also credited to Bloodshy, and promises, ‘’Boy, I’ve got my eyes on you,'’ accompanied by Vocoder ‘’da da da’’s and what sounds not unlike a real live Doppler radar machine (how method!).

‘’Break the Ice,'’ meanwhile, may remind some of Nelly Furtado’s 2007 hit ‘’Say It Right'’ — and for good reason; it also gets its sound from Nate ‘’Danjahandz'’ Hills (the producer behind ‘’Gimme More'’).

Finally, ‘’Heaven on Earth,'’ an airy disco-queen come-on in the vein of Gwen Stefani’s Sweet Escape, was penned by songwriter Kara DioGuardi (she cowrote both Ashlee Simpson’s ‘’Pieces of Me'’ and Kelly Clarkson’s ‘’Walk Away,'’ as well as Stefani’s ‘’Rich Girl'’).

Not heard so far: any ballads or explicit references to Kevin Federline or other famous exes (JT, you’re in the clear — for now). Spears’ as-yet-untitled fifth studio album is due Nov. 13.

1. Piece of Me. Oh Britney. I want the entire cake. THOSE LYRICS. I’m Mrs. ‘Extra, extra, this just in’ / I’m Mrs. ‘She’s too fat, now she’s too thin.” She knows. I can't wait to hear this song.

2. No Ballads. I DON'T WANT BALLADS. Slow songs are cute and everything but not on this album Ms. Spears. I want raunch. I want oo I should smoke a cigarette to this. I want wow why are my panties wet. I WANT DANCE IN THE CLUB ... WORK OUT ... FUCK YOU HATERS MUSIC. But Ballads will be accepted.


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