Lemme Holla at Dante

Oh this story tickles me so. So basically my girl Lindsay got steam in her pants when she crossed paths with this Dante kid. She was apparently driving in a car with Dante's friend when she asked him to text Dante and invite Dante to her party. Dante. So he was like It's Lindsay Lohan of course I'll go and instead of leaving his friends wherever they were ... he brought them to the party they weren't invited to and made them sit in the car while he got his party on.

Dante goes on to say that everyone was having a good time, it looked like a normal party to me. Lame! Malibu parties are like normal parties? Ugh. My belief in that city dwells daily. But back to the good part ... Ronnie Blake [who so conviently brought his Big Daddy Kane to the interview with his sad eyes], Jakon Sutter and Dante, he really doesn't need a last name proceed to agree with many yea's and uhm's as Harvey ... what do they say in court? LEADS THE WITNESS.

Whatever.
Two uglies and a sexy are hanging out at a gas station one night. One receives a text message stating that Lindsay Lohan wants him to come party with her. He brings his buddies, leaving them in the backseat of an SUV to like ... text each other. They witness an arguement between Lindsay's assistant and her boyfriend ... Witness Lindsay's assistant Quit ... Witness a "so drunk ... so drugged up ... I don't know what she was on but she was on a lot" Lindsay Lohan get pissed ... Tarrin [who seems to be the MAIN cause of every situation of the night. Fighting with Boyfriends. Tears. Quitting Jobs. Oh Boo. Let her go] runs away ... Lindsay jumps over Dante Cock to remove his keys ... and instead of everyone jumping out while Lindsay made her way around the entire front end of the vehicle ... they wanted to wait and make sure she did what they thought she would do. This is when Ronnie decided to be brave, get out of the car and stand close enough to get his foot run over and now they're sitting at TMZ with Canes, Sad Faces, Low Voices and their 15 minutes.

Yeah. Yeah. Are the cameras off? Where's my check Harvey? I'm late meeting my coke dealer.