Saturday, July 28, 2007

Movie Review: I Know Who Killed Me

I might or might not decide to spoil this movie for all of you who weren't going to see it. I haven't decided so let's just see where it goes.

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Yes Lindsay Lohan Yes. I Know Who Killed Me is the movie I've been WAITING for her to do. Remember when I wrote an entry forever ago about how she needed something different. Something darker because she needed to get OUT of her Parent Trap days. Let these motherfuckers know that she's no longer for Susie in second grade. She did.

The movie comes on with Dakota in the strip club. She's sexy. She kinda looks around at everyone and makes her way to the stage and finally shows us the stripper moves we've been waiting to see. It wasn't anything spectacular ... but it was hot. Skip to Aubrey in her classroom, reading the story she's been writing to the class.

Yea. I'm not going to write about it because it's too complicated. But it's a good movie. You just have to stretch your mind further than the Lindsay Lohan we all know. I think she could be a good actress but because our mind is mixed with the Lindsay on screen and the Lindsay on Sunset it's hard. The movie was well written. YOU HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON. I thought I had figured it out but I didn't. The ending. Oh man. The ending. So everyone pretty much sucked their teeth and said What the fuck. I even said Whaaaat. Why? It's so awkward. SO awkward but I mean ... Whatever.

Onto the drooling. Lindsay Lohan needs to do Hustler. She needs to change her fucking image and pose in Hustler. She is not aiming at the right crowd. Lindsay needs to go Marilyn Manson and leave these PTA mothers in the DUST!

Sex Scene number one and Stripper scene two and three. Okay. My mouth was agape. Agape. The entire time. The flipping of her hair. Her Body. The shit she was wearing. Her make up. Her attitude. The Song!!! She killed it. Killed it.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I don't think I've ever heard Mr. Pris use so much as the word hell in any of her movies [cept Georgia Rule] & she came out tongue a blazin. This movie was SO hot to me. It was scatter brained. All over the fucking place. Nothing made sense. You wanted to shake her and say, Aubrey I mean Dakota What the Fuck. The movie was made for Lindsay Lohan. I believed her. I was like ... this chick is crazy. Trying to tell her parents that she has a twin they don't know about. Oh ho hoho.

I thought I was watching a darker version of The Parent Trap. Minus the trying to get the parents back together part. & the entire camping scene. & the butler with the funky little dance. But adding in Blood, Blue Gloves, Whimpering, Sex Scene, Hot Music, Sexual "oh so this is what Calum Best was talking about" movements, CONFUSION and stripper poles.

The only What the fuck, Oh c'mon part of the movie was the end. But just because you don't like graveyards doesn't mean other people can't.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

ha! I think you need to tell me what happens. I'm SO curious now.