Congratulations to Nicole Richie and Joel Madden for being the first parents on the planet. I mean it's obvious that we were at a stand still with the mystery bump in her stomach region. I know I almost choked on my piece of cake when I saw her. OMG IS SHE GAINING WEIGHT !? First thoughts I swear. But then everyone wanted to ruin the moment with Nicole Richie is Pregnant and I'm like what? Pregnant? What's that mean? This word Pregnant you speak of ... does it make you crazy and wear big shirts and carry 12 feet purses for blockage? Ohhh. I get it.
So because no one knew Nicole was pregnant but Nicole, she felt the need to take her new neatly smoked out tattoo artist of a boyfriend with her on the interview she had with Diane Sawyer.
I saw Diane at starbucks this morning and thanked her seven times for her interview with Nicole. I confessed that I was sitting in my living room with a gun pressed against my temple because Nicole Richie was lying to the world about her pregnancy. So thank you once again Diane Sawyer. You saved my life.