Wednesday, November 7, 2007

please explain your life to me

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*moment of silence*

does it drive you crazy to stare at people as cute as lauren conrad? and there's no need to hate on her because she blasted out of the womb cute as fuck. it's not her fault she was born with a beautiful face, kept her body on point and happened to have a rich daddy with an amazing motherfucking house. it's not her fault that she happened to be passing the casting of laguna beach while on her lunch break. it's not her fault that we were so fucking interested in her life that we had to follow her from the beach to the greatest city ever. it's not her fault that she got the hook up in that sweet ass apartment "that she no longer lives in, just films in" and gets paid a reported, $40,000 an episode. did you go to math class? that's $160,000 a month. a month. to be cute and match her shirt with her shoes.

but i like to see the positives in situations at times. and im taking this opportunity as, lauren is showing me all the hot spots. you think i'd know what the fuck area was if it weren't for the hills. you think i'd take road trips to hollywood just to drive down sunset because it means something to me. no. lauren conrad is the spokesman for los angeles with taste in my eyes. all those lovely resturants, those purses, that car, those purses, her home, those purses, her friends, those purses, her job and those purses.

wait. why is there drama on the hills? this is not a lifestyle to waste with emotions. shit. if i was lauren conrad, i'd be like a sexy brick wall. you get nothing from me. i've got to sip and shop. dueces.

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